- On September 6, 2018
I was so angry. Angrier than I can remember being in years.
Something I thought was fixed, had unraveled again. It was important to me. And the person who I thought was taking care of it, wasn’t.
This is not a feeling I’m used to, anger.
I really try to approach things with an open mind for possibilities, to be flexible, inclusive of other perspectives.
I tried my stress-reducing practices. I took some long deep breaths to dispel the cortisol this stress was creating. I sat to meditate and let the angry energy slide away. Not working.
If I didn’t do something, I knew this negative energy would swirl around me like an ominous dark tornado and swallow up the rest of my day. And the issue would not be fixed.
So, I stepped up and said something. In a very forceful direct way. Not my usual style.
Within 20 minutes, the situation had been resolved to my satisfaction.
I felt so much lighter. My body position went from tense, jaw clenched, leaning forward and confrontational to shoulders open, face relaxed, smiling and feeling grateful.
What had triggered such a deep-seated response in me? It was more than frustration about the situation, although there was liability involved so it was a very important issue to resolve.
My anger was triggered by feeling like I wasn’t being heard on an issue of great importance to me. Evidently my ‘light’ style wasn’t having the impact I needed. The anger spurred me to action, making a forceful impassioned argument that broke through and got immediate results.
A while back I was giving a workshop on Emotional Intelligence and someone asked me, “Is it OK to get angry?”
Yes, it is. Sometimes getting angry is exactly what you need to generate the courage to move to constructive action.
“I realized that if my thoughts immediately affect my body, I should be careful about what I think. Now if I get angry, I ask myself why I feel that way. If I can find the source of my anger, I can turn that negative energy into something positive.” —Yoko Ono
Do you know what triggers anger for you? And what do you do with it?