- On January 27, 2015
Maybe it’s the gloominess of winter that stirs up the discontent. Recently I’ve had a series of bitter-tinged conversations with talented people who feel that they are not appreciated at work.
In each case, their technical skills and the experience level seem to align with company needs. Performance reviews have been positive. No indication that they should stall out.
Others–not them–have gotten plum assignments.
Others–not them–have been promoted.
Others—not them—have received recognition.
They feel frustrated and powerless to change the situation.
While that disappointing situation may be beyond saving…my first question is “Are you ready to do something different to try to change the next outcome?”
Just as in any relationship, work is a dance and there are steps we are used to doing to keep the dance going.
So let’s start with:
What is your role in that dance?
What have you done to try to create a different outcome?
Are you doing the same steps you’ve always done?
And if that isn’t getting you what you want… are you ready to do a different dance?
How do you start doing a different dance? Let’s start with the ABC approach.
A–Awareness. How well do you understand your strengths, your challenges, and how you are viewed by others? Usually technical skills have nothing to do with it; it’s often about how you get along with others.
“How do I feel about my colleagues? What about my bosses? My customers? My customers? And how does this show up in how I act? “
B–Be Kind. We instinctively view everything as to how it relates to us personally. “Be Kind” means trying to see everything from the other person’s point of view. It moves us from our natural self-centeredness to being ‘other –centered’ opening up new possibilities for us to consider.
“What are five criteria the CEO might have used to determine who to promote? ”
C–Clarify. Have you asked clarifying questions about the situation you are not happy with?
“Help me understand why I was not considered for this assignment and what I should be doing differently.”
By going into Clarify with a Be Kind mindset, we seek to enrich our Awareness. Clarify your own goals with your supervisor soliciting their support on how you can best attain them.
Using the ABC approach uncovers different steps you can take to change the dance.
If you don’t like the way the dance is going, are you ready to take the first step to change it?