- On June 30, 2014
To tag on to my recent post on Want to Become More Confident? Embrace your Vulnerability here are five exercises I practice to stretch my confidence muscle so I can live my life courageously.
1. I’ve figured it out before.
Think back on all the times you’ve been challenged in your life and how you negotiated them. You figured it out, right? Maybe it worked out the way you wanted. Maybe it didn’t and you learned and moved on. You can certainly do it again.
2. Model the way I want to be.
The best way to explain this is to watch Amy Cuddy’s Power Posing TED Talk.
Fake it until you become it. It really does work; I’ve been doing it for years.
3. Just show up. Someone told me early on when I started my business,
“Jane, 80% of success is just showing up… because a lot of people just don’t.”
I get caught up in a derisive cycle of “I’m not enough.” “I don’t have enough experience…I don’t know enough…What if I don’t have the right answer?” And that can stop me from showing up.
To incapacitate these self-defeating ‘not enough’ thoughts, I tell myself, “I’ll show up and give it my best shot. Whatever I come up with is most likely more than what they have now. I will figure it out.”
4. What’s the worst that can happen? And what’s the best?
Somehow imagining what is the worst thing and how I’ll live with that, lessens its hold on me. Imagining the joy and power I get from having the best thing happen opens me up to finding the courage to at least try for it.
5. Be true to myself.
When I pass up an opportunity because fear held me back, I become resentful towards others and disappointed in myself. It feels like a roiling pit in the bottom of my stomach. I feel like I’m not being treated fairly, and this time the ‘abuser’ is my own self.
I tell myself that even if going for what I want fails, I still own the personal satisfaction of showing up for something that was important to me. And that’s courage.
What are the practices you use to build your confidence and live your life courageously?