- On March 19, 2014
The previous post (What’s emotions got to do with it? I’m looking for a job!) highlighted the first EQ element I find important to the job search phase of career transition. Today, I’ll share the other four.
2. Emotional Self-Awareness
What it is: Understanding what you are feeling and why
Why it is important now: For many of us, our feeling of “value” becomes linked with ‘our space’ in the workplace and its monetary value (being paid). Without that, we may begin to feel we have no value. This can generate feelings of anger, depression, or anxiety. They can create an undercurrent of strain in families. The anxiety may be perceived by others as lacking self-confidence. Being emotionally self-aware means you recognize and acknowledge the emotion you are feeling and what state it is causing you to be in.
Statements that demonstrate Emotional Self-Awareness: “Honey this is not a good time to talk. I just got a rejection letter and am feeling angry. Give me about 30 minutes so I can get past this feeling.” Looking at your emotional state as a cause-effect relationship can defuse its impact.
3. Stress Tolerance
What it is: The ability to recognize the source of stress and actively cope with its effects
Why it is important now: Searching for the right job is very stressful. Companies may not be transparent about what they are looking for. You are constantly revising your resume to align with someone else’s priorities. There may be financial anxiety, plus the change in dynamics for the family. Finding a way to clear your mind and body of the stress of the job search process is critical to your health, relationships, and self-regard. Common ways of stress management include exercise, yoga, meditation and reflection, prayer, reading, music, hobbies, whatever positive activity that takes your mind and body away from the challenge of finding a job.
Statements that demonstrate Stress Tolerance: “Before I walk into a networking event, I sit in my car, close my eyes and do a few rounds of relaxation breathing. Even just three minutes calms me and at the same time makes me more alert and tuned into other people. I have a more enjoyable time.”
What it is: A belief that “Life is (essentially) Good” and that things will work out for the best
Why it is important now: The job search process has two forces–you offering your talents and experiences and the company offering a position that needs those. It can be easy to assume the ball is in their court and there is not much you can do to affect the outcome. Having an optimistic attitude infuses you with the belief that you have control over the process. You make choices about how you respond to whatever happens, good or bad.
Statements that demonstrate Optimism: “Well, I was turned away on that application, which means it wasn’t the right fit for me. Can’t win them all! I know the right position is out there for me. It’ll just take me longer to find it.”
What is it: The ability to be self-directed, think for yourself, and not be unduly influenced by what others expect
Why it is important now: If you’ve lost the moorings of a steady job, it may be difficult to stay on a schedule and determine what is right for you. Friends, colleagues, and family, who are well-intended in wanting to help, may offer advice on what you “should” do. Independence is self-confidence and the ability to make decisions that “sit well” for you, even if that is not what others envision you “should” do. Independence allows you to critically assess the advice others offer on finding your next job, take risks, and take action.
Statements that demonstrate Independence: “My cousin has been really nice to introduce me to her neighbor that has a business. I’ve met with him and I just know I would not be happy there. Now my cousin is giving me pressure saying I owe her to take this job because she recommended me. I have to explain to her that her neighbor is a great contact but it is not a fit for what I want to do. I will be appreciative of her concern and also firm on finding the right position for me.”